Petty Low Stakes
Gym lockers, office headphones, grocery coupons, perfume claimers. Stakes are tiny. Verdicts are not.
Petty revenge, reserved gym lockers, the coworker who claims your perfume as her signature scent. The stakes are five dollars and the feelings are five thousand. This court exists because petty stories are the most honest ones: nobody performs virtue over a grocery coupon.
The thermostat changed at 3:14am, every single night
The smart thermostat logged a change at 3:14 every single night.
My own candle came back to me at a baby shower
My own candle came back to me at a baby shower.
Our street founded a council to govern one orange cone
Our street founded a council to regulate one orange traffic cone.
I hired a land surveyor to win a fight about leaves
I hired a licensed land surveyor to win a fight about leaves.
She requested $3.75 for guac, so I ran a three-year audit
Sloane Venmo-requested me three dollars and seventy-five cents for guacamole.
He licks desserts to claim them, so I started a ledger
My roommate licks shared desserts to claim them, and calls the system efficient.
The lunch thief reported my decoy labels to HR
The office lunch thief reported my sandwich labels to human resources.
Pots are not dishes, and toilet paper is not on the wheel
My roommate leaves every pot dirty, because pots are not dishes.
I sent the carpool freeloader an airline invoice
I sent my carpool freeloader an airline-style invoice for our road trips.
Her card declined on an $89 lobster at my birthday
Brittany's card declined on an eighty-nine dollar lobster at my birthday dinner.
The custody war over our sourdough starter
My best friend secretly cloned our sourdough starter and lied about it.
The RC Car, The Pitbull, and the Peace Sign
He drove a toy car. She walked a new rescue. Guess who got the doorbell visit.
My Silent Roommate's Mystery Shirt Smelled Like a Gas Station Cheese Machine
Two weeks of detective work ended in a public trash can.
AITA for Taking Back My Own Fridge Shelves From the Couple Down the Hall
Two shelves per room. Not two shelves per person. Read the agreement.
The Couch Squatter and the Lease That Wasn't Hers
Three women, one apartment, and a guest who forgot she was a guest.
The Mother-in-Law's Ornamental Grass Versus My Native Garden Plan
She gifted a plant. He set a boundary. Now she's hurt.
Promise Ring Under the Engagement Photo
She thought it was a cute coincidence. The comment section disagreed.
My Best Friend's Bachelorette Math Doesn't Math
The budget said three hundred. The itinerary said six hundred and thirty eight.
I Bailed On My Best Friend's Last Week Because Of A Guy She Isn't Even Dating
She moved our hangout for a maybe-boyfriend. I moved myself out of the plan entirely.
Entered Her Into A Family Sweepstake. Without Asking.
He says it's £5 and a hat. She says it's the principle.
My Roommate Keeps Pooping With The Door Wide Open
There is a second bathroom. She is choosing chaos.
My Roommate Locked Me Out With The Flu For Date Night
He had three hours booked. I had a 102 fever and a prescription I couldn't reach.
He Built Me A Fence That Sheds Pickets In Real Time
A contractor says years of doing it wrong is the same as doing it right
My Roommate Gave Her Brother Our Spare Key Without Asking Me
He let himself in while we were both at work.
Buckle Up Or Get Out of My Car
She's the designated driver. She has a rule. They have opinions.
Someone kept stealing my office coffee. So I left them a labeled thermos. AITA?
Property of Marketing, please do not drink. The Slack thread the next morning was a masterpiece.
My roommate labeled every single item in our kitchen. So I labeled hers right back.
When my mirror-image labels went up, the manager noticed. The Labeler had to explain herself out loud.
My aunt demanded my wifi password at Christmas. I gave her the guest network with the parental filter on.
She wanted the wifi. She got the wifi. Just not the version she expected.
My roommate's girlfriend has lived with us for four months. So I sent him an itemized invoice.
I prorated the utilities. I itemized the paper towels. I emailed it on the first.
My boss banned headphones in the open office. So I started taking every call on speaker.
He said the team needed to feel collaborative. So I made every meeting audible to the whole floor.
A woman at my gym kept moving my stuff out of her locker. So I started leaving notes.
She moved my bag to the floor. I moved her perfume into my bag.
A woman at the grocery store demanded I honor her expired coupons. I do not work there.
I was wearing a green windbreaker. The store's apron is also green. She would not be moved.
My Airbnb host let himself in to check the smoke alarm. I left a five-paragraph review.
He did not knock. I did not blink. The review went up that night.
My neighbor weaponized our HOA quiet hours. So I read every other rule in the binder.
She handed me the rulebook as a weapon against me. I used it on her.
Pick a different court.
All cases. On iPhone.
